I’m not usually on the serious side here. But sometimes things hit me and I feel I need to share. Maybe someone else is stuck or could use some encouragement. Maybe I just like putting my thoughts out there. Being human is all about connection. I live a very stressful life. Let me tell you, for those that don’t know me...our life is crazy with a capital C!!! Here is a glimpse of my duties/responsibilities...
Mom of 4 (ages 24,21,16,7...and 2 in Heaven), grandmother of 2 and one on the way, Owner of 4 businesses, wife to an amazing man that works out of town/state and only Home on holidays, Breeder of bloodhounds, also owner of a 70 acre farm (with horses, cows, chickens, ducks), aging parents, building a new house, 3 autoimmune diseases. Whew!!
Needless to say, I honestly don’t know if I’m coming or going at any given time. What I know is I love what I do...all of it. But as the stress and anxiety get to me of overwhelm and too much responsibility...I find myself complaining. Then I get stuck in a rut of complaining. Why won’t the kids listen? Why do we have to have all of these bills? Why can’t the house stay clean? Why won’t they go to sleep? Why can’t I just run away a few days? Why can’t I just have some peace and quiet? Why can’t these vendors ship on time? Why can’t I get time to do bookkeeping? Why can’t I have a nanny? Why did I do this in the first place? When will my husband be able to come home? And on...and on!! Sound familiar to anyone else? I hope I’m not alone. Lol.
Then I witness a moment. Or I get that quiet minute in the bathtub and see things differently. Inside the chaos, you can’t see the beauty. You can’t see what God is preparing you for. You can’t see anything except doubt and fear and exhaustion. But...when you step outside, you can see it differently. I see my 4 healthy children and thank God that they are. I see how my rat race is speeding up their childhoods like a treadmill on high. I see how the moments are the beauty. I see how if everything seemed right all the time...how would I even see the beauty?! I see how loss hurts but it makes life that much more treasured. I see my youngest just enjoying being outside and realize I haven’t sat outside on my porch in months. I see how blessed I am to provide for my employees and their families. I am so blessed to be able to build our dream home. So many never get that chance. I’m so blessed to have these businesses that have shown success. I’m blessed to have a husband who works so hard. I’m blessed to have some great products customers love. I’m blessed to have great customers!!
I never thought I’d be here today with Honey Hush or a new house or so many of the things I have. I’m amazed at what we’ve accomplished and all that I have. When it seems there is so much to complain about...I know on the other side of that is the fact that I have SO MANY blessings. Thank you all for being one!! Thank you for allowing me to share my vision and to try and conquer my ever reaching dreams!